Power of Negativity

I left the new Association Ministry Council meeting Saturday feeling very good about the direction of the program in southwest Ohio and northern Kentucky. I call it new because it is part of the new structure of the Association, wherein we have separated the governance of the Association from its ministry to, with and for our local churches. The Ministry Council is made up of targeted ministries, at least in this point of its configuration. There are groups for education, local church ministries, spiritual development, communication, technology, and a few others that do not immediately occur to me.

It was a very productive meeting, in which we planned the Spring Association Meeting, scheduled for April 25, at Flemming Road UCC, in Cincinnati. The topic will be ministry to and with people who are on the fringes, those who suffer from mental health issues, addictions, relationship transitions, or anything else that has been stigmatized in church settings. The Ministry Council sees ministry to and with persons who exist on the fringes, or at least at the outer most extent of the church's periphery includes, at one time or another, almost each of us. The day will conclude with a unique labyrinth station worship experience, one that is sure to make a powerful impact on all who dare participate.

I was enthused. These were high level theological and ministerial conversations, an important sign that the Association is now moving in an important and meaningful direction.

When I got home, I posted on Facebook, to the SONKA group there, that it had been a fine meeting and that I was thrilled with the spirit that is moving in SONKA. I meant the comment to be a positive witness to the ministry and direction of what I take to be a very important component of church life. Within minutes, however, some of my colleagues began to complain that they wanted information about the new structure, about what was going on, and about who was serving in what role. I felt as though I was being attacked simply for making a positive statement about a meeting.

Almost immediately, my enthusiasm drained. My hopes for the immediate future of the Association waned and my willingness to make such witness again disappeared. If making positive comment leads to attack, then why in the world would I, or anyone else for that matter, bother to offer any? I was deflated.

How often do what we say and how we respond to those around us have just that effect? How often do the negative comments that we make, or even what we intend as suggestion, deflate the spirit of those who make positive comment? I take this incident as a call to be even more mindful about the impact we make when we respond to those around us, perhaps especially through social media. I do not believe that my colleagues intended to drain my enthusiasm. I do not think that they meant to criticize my comment. But the outcome of what they said and how they said did just that.

I will be reluctant to post such a comment again to the SONKA group, knowing that it had been a negative experience. If my comments have ever done such a thing to any of you, I sincerely apologize. Please know that I will be more mindful in the future.