Religious Evolution of Weddings

On June 26 of this year the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) publicized a ruling that said that States could no longer constitutionally restrict the marriage rights of same-gender couple. That ruling opened the door for same-gender couples to overcome ages of discrimination, both legal and social, and freed them to engage in the full rights of marriage.

Since that date, I have presided over three same-gender weddings and have a fourth scheduled for later this month. In the mix have been three differently-gendered weddings, with another two scheduled for this month. Here is just part of my preliminary finding.

Firstly, there is no difference in a wedding ceremony for persons of the same or different genders. Aside from some variations in wording, the ceremony works the same. In fact, I find that persons of same genders spend more time in consideration of there parts of a wedding ceremony than do couples of the different genders. This may be a religious and social incident that will, in time, correct itself. For now, however, it is fun to work with couples who seriously consider what the wording of the wedding ceremony means and what impact changes in language may make.

Secondly, the same gender couples with whom I have worked, and will work yet this season, have been in relationship for an average of twenty-two years. One couple has been together for more than thirty years, yet had no marriage rights under the previous law. I met this couple when one member suffered a heart attack. Because I knew them socially, I was asked to intercede with the family to allow the other member of the couple to visit while his partner was hospitalized. Because of their new status under the law, they now have rights that are equal to that of any married couple. These relationships are long-term and stable. Now they share equal rights under the law. Each couple appreciates the equal status that is now granted their commitment and understands their role as first-generation same gender marriages.

Thirdly, we have seen just the tip of the social and religious iceberg that the legalization of same-gender marriage represents. There is a new culture afoot, one that embraces diversity and accepts the differences that humans exhibit. The rules about those who are "in" and those who are "out" are swiftly changing. In fact, the changes have caught much of the religious world off balance. If there is one thing that religious, and social, institutions savor, it is stasis. Institutions and traditions are most comfortable when things are left as they had been. Change throws question on the assumptions upon which those practices, procedures and beliefs were based. When things are left alone, no institution need question its assumptions. Equal marriage rights upset the stasis, both religious and social.

The evolutionary cultural context in which we find ourselves is expressed clearly in SCOTUS' decision. It is expressed in how the institutions, religious and social, embrace the change so demonstrated. It is also marked by those who would seek stasis over progress, those who seek traditional configurations over new avenues and new approaches.

I hope that the weddings that I am doing this season, both those of same gender and differently-gendered couples, exhibit a new course for culture and the Church. I sincerely hope that we are able to embrace the changing culture with openness and enthusiasm, as such change offers the opportunity for religious and social evolution as well.