I learned late yesterday afternoon of the death of one of my two best childhood friends. There are as yet no details, except for the fact that his death was by his own hand.
This is the second time that a member of my graduation high school class, the Bremen, Indiana class of 1979, committed suicide. More poignantly, this is the second person that I played with as a child, who lived in my neighborhood, who I loved and who I will miss, took her and his own life. The first was Dawn Marburger. Now Tracy Cather.
I do not know the details of Dawn's death. She lived in California. I saw her at our 25th class reunion, the only one that I have attended. I had lost touch with her. Despite Facebook and other available social media, I had also lost touch with Tracy.
Tracy's death comes on the heals of his father's passing and the break up of Tracy's long-term relationship with his partner.
I wonder if the pressures and stress of being gay in our culture had anything to do with his eventual suicide. If so, we should be ashamed of ourselves. Political or religious stances are evil when they contribute to the death of someone so talented and valuable. Such stances are evil when they contribute to any person's rejection, diminishment, or depersonalization.
Dawn suffered in some of the same ways. While I do not think that she was attracted to persons of the same gender - after all, she was my first real kiss - I know that she suffered greatly with body image and bulimia. Despite being a beautiful woman, she never felt comfortable in her own skin.
Our culture is killing people. The pressure that we place on one another is leading to depression, deep seeded frustration and disenchantment, to hopelessness and desperation. It is leading to suicide at an alarming rate among Baby Boomers.
The Revised Common Lectionary texts for this past week included Paul's lesson from Romans, to simply "Love One Another." In the act of loving one another rests fulfillment of all the laws. More than that, however. In loving one another lies mutual support and compassion, acceptance and sincere respect, wherein we see persons as more than tools for our political or religious posturing.
Who is to say? Perhaps if we were able to live in love, just maybe Dawn and Tracy might still be with us. I mourn their loss. I grieve for them and regret their pain.
It may sound naive, but is it not time that we pursue love of one another? We have lost far too many already.
3 comments:
Thank you, Carl. Dawn has always haunted me. She was so incredibly beautiful at our class reunion that I was, quite honestly, a little jealous. To realize that she was in so much pain that she ended her life really made me think. Seeing what everyone is posting about Tracy makes me wish so much that he would've known how his friends felt about him. We get caught up in our lives and forget that not everyone feels loved. I want to reach out more often. No one should be that lonely.
Lona
Thank you, Carl. Dawn has always haunted me. She was so incredibly beautiful at our class reunion that I was, quite honestly, a little jealous. To realize that she was in so much pain that she ended her life really made me think. Seeing what everyone is posting about Tracy makes me wish so much that he would've known how his friends felt about him. We get caught up in our lives and forget that not everyone feels loved. I want to reach out more often. No one should be that lonely.
Lona
Thank you, Carl. I must admit that it was partly because of your friendship with Tracy that I was also so close to him. You were my boyfriend then but you never complained when I spent time with either of your best friends. Thank you for that. My heart is broken, too. I now must go and make amends with another former classmate who I don't like so much. Thank you for that prompt.
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